Luke's Luck
by SupremeOutcast
Summary: Luck had never been on Luke's side. Luke always liked to tell people that he had been adopted as a baby. It was much better than the truth. He sometimes made up stories about a father and a mother that loved him, who hadn't cursed his very existence. Mentions of abuse and self harm. Formerly known as Luke: Before Adoption
1. The Beginning of the Beginning

(A/N) I've been watching this show on and off for a few months, and I suddenly started wondering why Luke Ross acts as he does... This is AU...or maybe it isn't we don't know Luke's past in the show. This would be odd for Disney though. This is what I consider OOC ( mostly because I am writing in third person and haven't written much with the characters, just about the characters and have no clue how they will act).

Disclaimer: If it wasn't clear before...I DON"T OWN JESSIE! Disney does...

**_The Beginning of the Beginning -_**

Luke always liked to tell people that he had been adopted as a baby. He preferred people to believe that he had been found by Christina and Morgan at under a year of age, and had just proved to be to unreliable for school until the age of ten and had therefore been home schooled. It was much better than the truth. He knew for sure that he hadn't been, but it saved unnecessary question about his past from being asked. His family humored him, and even lied for him on occasion. Zuri and Ravi had no clue at all about his past. They all believed that he was their strange older brother who had been adopted at a year old and had grown up believing he was from Krypton rather than Detroit. He sometimes made up stories about a father and a mother that loved him. These dreams didn't include the mother that committed suicide because of him. Stories that didn't include a father tried to kill him. His fantasy included parents who hadn't yelled at him and cursed him for simply being alive. They included people who had let him have his youth, instead of forcing him to learn to grow up quickly in order to cover up bruises inflicted by his drunken father daily before school, and slave away at home to try to please dissatisfied mother every day after school. He knew that what was in the past was gone forever, but there were always memories and nightmares. There were always flashbacks of paralyzing pain and tears of abandonment and betrayal. There was always the left over feelings in his mind that he was worthless and insignificant. Whatever logic told him; he knew that his trials were far from over.

Luke Colbert had been lucky. His second grade teacher had taken note his strange reluctance to make friends or try in general at school. After she had noticed the child himself, it was only a matter of time before she became aware of other suspicious things, such as his refusal to talk in detail about home beyond a fine, or a good, his nervous disposition, or his continuously bruised arms, neck and shoulders. She had made the decision to discuss with the Childs father whether siblings or "friends" were bullying Luke. She had met with him and decided that besides being extremely creepy, and anti-social, the boy's father knew nothing, and the child was most likely just accident-prone. In the back of her mind however, there was always the murmur that this might be the small towns first case of child abuse. Later that night, the neighbors heard shrill screams and had called the police. They had found the child almost dead, and they had immediately arrested his maniacal father and rush Luke to the Hospital. After A week or two of constant supervision and healing, Luke was moved to a foster home.

Luke was over the course of one and a half years, sent from home to home. He never quite fit in with the other children who had been abandoned, or placed into foster care after the death of family members. He was always treated as though he was fragile by the parents, and teased by the other children mercilessly. After a half a year of his constant trouble making in attempts to gain attention, he was transferred to a different family. This family had treated Luke as though it was his fault that their oldest biological son was constantly angry. The other children in the household learned from their caretakers' example and ostracized Luke. He only lasted three months at that placement, before he was removed from their care. His third home was by far the best. Luke bonded with the other children, and the adults, but like all good things it didn't last. After only four glorious months, he got beat up by school bullies because of his love of dance; he had major anxiety attacks and much more frequent episodes and flashbacks. This prompted the family he had grown to feel accepted by to send him away, so he no longer had to be near those who caused him more fear. Luke's fifth home was almost as bad as his originally home, and he quickly receded into a constant state of mistrust. He lasted for two months before he had a panic attack when he got a question wrong in math. This quickly alerted his social worker that he needed a change of home.

His final Foster home was not horrible, but not great either. His mental breakdowns stayed consistent, and that made him a difficult child to handle. It was at this home where the Ross family first came into the picture. They had been hoping to adopt a child, a third girl for their steadily growing family, which consisted of an 11 year old Emma and a three-year-old Zuri. Once they arrived at the home they had been told their new daughter was at, they had been informed that due to a difficulty in the processing of their paper work, a lovely family from Illinois had already adopted the child that had been promised to them. They were crushed that there're perfect child had been snatched away on a mere technicality. As they were leaving they heard yelling and saw a young boy tearing across the hallway tears streaming down his face, being chased by a woman who was trying to comfort him, unsuccessfully, by telling him where and when he was, and that he was just having a flashback. They took an interest in that child who was having a breakdown, screaming and crying for them not to hurt him again. The foster mother said that the child, Luke Colbert, was being removed from their care later that week, because he was too much of a handful for their foster family. Cristina and Morgan Ross knew that very moment that Luke was the child that they wanted to adopt, no questions asked.

(A/N) Please Review... tell me any thoughts, questions, complaints, or opinions. As long as you don't flame I'm fine:) I'll try to update soon-ish, but I don't really know what I'm going to have happen yet...


	2. The Middle of the Beginning

Disclaimer: If it wasn't clear before...I DON"T OWN JESSIE! Disney does...

**_The Middle of the Beginning-_**

Luke had been adopted when he was almost nine years old. That day was one of the best in his life (although he didn't know that at first). He was given the opportunity to be loved and have friendships. He was handed a ticket away from his past life the moment he set foot on board the private jet. Luke Colbert was allowed to escape and heal. He was Lucky.

On Luke's first day with the Ross family in their NYC penthouse they found out how severe his panic attacks truly were. It came as some surprise to find that Luke had no problem with flight, or with his new sisters. The real issue came where they least expected it… with Bertram. The lazy butler had been sleeping on one of the many sofas in the living room awaiting the late night arrival of the newest Ross child with excitement and terror. Morgan and Christina had miscalculated. Luke was unaware of the presence of others I his new home. He panicked, begging for his father and foster parents to forgive him and pleading not to be hurt until he got a stricken look on his face and ran off. He found a way into the vast, dark walls of the building, a place that would later serve as a refuge for him when the emotional and sometimes physical pain grew to great.

When he finally returned the next morning, he was walking at a slow, measured pace, with an air of dread about him. He apologized stiffly for running off and then broke down. Tears began to stream down his face, and he expected to be hit. The caretakers were horrified, and Luke was mystified at their reaction. He wondered if he had done something wrong…it was probably the crying. As they rushed to correct his misconceptions, he grew more nervous, and more over whelmed. Eventually it was the older of his temporary sisters (for in his mind they must be temporary), Emma, who proved to be his anchor to reality. She dashed over to her parents and made up an extravagant story about magic and fairy tales, and the little girl Zuri which ended with, "and that is why the TVs were thrown out of the window" This distracted her parents and caused them to shift enough of their attention away from Luke so he could calm down. From then on they shared a closer bond than Luke had with his parents, if he felt an attack coming on, she protected him and comforted him.

The first weeks were hard. Any new situation in which Luke didn't know how to react scared him. Many times someone asking him a question such as," are you hungry", or, "which do you like better, blue or green" would cause he to run and hide or collapse. Christina and Morgan knew that it would take time for him to adjust, but they still worried. The city would be a difficult place to raise a child with a panic disorder and severe flashbacks. When walking to Central Park, they passed hundreds of people; any one of them could remind Luke of his troubled past.

They made a decision not to send him to school for a while, after an incident at the park. It was to hard to protect their fragile (because lets face it, he was) child at all times. The nanny had been distracted by Zuri's pleas to get an extra ice cream for Millie the Mermaid, and had failed to notice when Luke was cornered by some rambunctious children his age asking if he wanted to play tag with them. He was scared. He was able to interact with other children, but what if he did the wrong thing, what if they found out about his past and didn't like him. He was paralyzed with apprehension (because it wasn't as severe as fear…). Before the other children had noticed, Emma luckily stepped in declaring that they were just leaving, and neither one of them wished to participate. This opened the Ross family's eyes. They were originally going to send him to school after a few months of adjusting. He would enter the fourth grade at the beginning of the school year.

Eventually, he felt accepted into the family. It had only been two months, but the time that he had spent in a healing environment was vital. He still needed time, but he was getting better by the day. He was…dare they say it…becoming normal?

(A/N) Please Review... tell me any thoughts, questions, complaints, or opinions. As long as you don't flame I'm fine:) I'll try to update soon-ish, I have(finally) made a plan... any ideas or hopes are welcome to!


	3. The End of the Beginning

A/N: A little bit more than a week. I hate it when people promise to update and then don't. I also hate it when long excuses are made. I just messed up. Plain and simple.

Disclaimer: I do not own Jessie. I hope I own this plot.

End of the beginning

The New nanny's name was Mathalida. None of the children liked her. She had just moved to NYC from Utica, and was strict and mysterious. Really they should have known that she would be trouble. They had many signs of her shiftiness. But they were inexperienced and not paranoid about people near their children as they would be in later years, so they thought nothing of the clear signs.

Their first sign of trouble should have been the fact that she provided little personal identification and avoided talking about Utica ("very snowy, quite cold, there's a lovely little Italian restaurant in nearby Rome, NY…."). Their second sign should have been the fact that Zuri burst into tears at the mere sight of her, or that she complained, " that mean mathalida told me Millie was fwigment of my magination…"

They should have understood when Emma became much more on edge than usually and started always being alert and present. Why did she suddenly start caring for all of her siblings and always taking them to the park or managing to get them out of the house without a the nanny? Why was she so family focused now but at the same time her grades were improving… how did that work? They definitely should have seen a major problem when all of the children started to share Emma's room. They were scared and the caretakers should have been too.

Luke was terrified of the prospect that his parents were just like his other foster parents, except worse because they were permanent. Emma tried to convince him otherwise, but he was set in his distrustful ways. "These ways keep me alive Emma" he would say. He hated when he would find Emma crying. This made him more angry than being subjected to horrible treatment once again. He found it unfair that his sisters should have to be dragged down into the mess of his life.

Luke was home-schooled, His flashbacks and panic attacks had been so debilitating in the beginning that Morgan and Christina had been forced to keep him in a safe, familiar environment. With the new nanny, however, that arrangement was proving to be a health risk. With his parents out so much working with movies and whatever other famous people stuff that they did, Luke was left almost always alone with Mathalida. That was one of the reasons he was the one she decided to focus her anger and destructive energy on.

Morgan and Christina's biggest sign and the one that eventually revealed the treatment of their children were connected to Luke. His nightmare grew worse, and he wouldn't cry like he used to. One day he showed up to dinner with bruises on him and Emma finally cracked and told the truth. Mathalida was rather cruel and was the cause of all their strange behavior. He knew that Luke wouldn't tell, because of years of previous abuse, so she picked him as her major target. The girls were just an "added bonus" as she would say and hadn't been beaten up as much as the "weak link". This single event caused the long train of nanny's before Jessie.

A/N: Sorry about the length of the chapter, but at least there is one. Please review! Any thoughts are welcome. Share your ideas!


	4. The Beginning of the Middle

**A/N: I'm not dead or stranded on a desert island! Explanation (fine I'll call it an excuse) is at the bottom if you want to be bored. Hopefully the time frame for this is slightly believable. I noticed that the chapters are slightly short, should I go back an edit them to make them longer, or should I leave them as they are and try to lengthen in the future? Tell me in Reviews or PMs. **

**_Thank you to my reviewers... sorry I didn't update sooner._**

Disclaimer: Just read the other ones and you'll get the idea that I don't own Jessie.

The beginning of the Middle—1 year, 4 months later

Mornings.

One word.

Zombie like state all year long.

The incessant beeping of his alarm clock woke Luke. He had been dreaming. It had been a good dream, full of sunshine and picnics. A sharp thought jolted him to full comprehension. Today… First day of school! He had heard from Emma that school was fun and that friends could be easily made. Friends… what if he didn't have any? What if they found out THE SECRET? What if he was too far behind everyone else? He had been to school before, but that had been a long time ago. More than a year was a long time. What if he didn't act the right way? He was so unsure.

Luke was unused to getting up early. He was home-schooled, but he was allowed to sleep in. Getting up early reminded him of his previous life. Not today, not today he thought to himself. Today was a day for happiness, not whatever emotions were associated with his birth parents. Today was school, a time for focus, and learning. For friends and laughter. Not…

Breakfast was a tense affair. Luke was exceedingly nervous. He had heard about fifth grade. Morgan and Christina had mentioned their time in grade school being hard and not always enjoyable. He was worried.

"So are you excited?" Christina asked.

" Yeah, I'm really nervous though."

"You'll be fine. Everyone will like you, you'll have instant popularity."

"I don't want to be liked for who my parents are."

"They'll like you for you. Don't worry."

The Bus.

Two words.

Complete insanity.

Whoever had brainstormed the idea of school buses should have to travel on one, with my future classmates, Luke thought. He was ready to turn around and start screaming at the little kid kicking his seat. Everyone was starring at him, and his neck hurt from trying to avoid their stares. He was so nervous. The type of nervous where your stomach feels like a void and your legs start tingling. The nervous in which you feel as though you are watching yourself…an out of body expience. Scratch nervous. He was terrified.

The bus screeched to a halt. The school. It was real. Tall and terrifying. It was glorious. Luke heard the doors open and he felt the fresh air flow into the bus, clearing the heavy stench of stale "bus air". He stood shakily and made his way out into the isle and off the bus feeling slightly dizzy and claustrophobic.

" … And so my school life begins…" he muttered.

Emma found him despite the crowds of exhausted preteens.

"Are you ok?" she asked him

"Can I answer later?" he questioned shakily.

" Buses can't possibly be that horrible?" Emma pried

"Nah…not that. It's just that I'm scared… about people knowing."

"That's natural."

"I guess"

"You worry too much"

School.

One word.

Months of Torture.

It wasn't as bad or as good as Luke had hoped. He had math first, and that was painful. He felt that besides trying to cover up his secret with jokes, he was now covering it with stupid as well. The fact was he was no good at math and now everyone knew it. The best part of that however was that he made a friend who also disliked math. George was nice. He hadn't had any friends besides his siblings before. With his luck, however, it wouldn't last. He seemed to always be right when it came to pessimism.

Lunch

45 minutes

Utter Hell

He didn't describe things as being hell lightly. The fact was that it was. That was all he could describe it as. All of the teachers zoned out or left during that time, and all of the tired kids we suddenly killing machines or timid mice. It was disastrous. It was dangerous. It was war.

Luke was good at dodging. He had had years of practice. This made him some great prize when it came to lunchroom fights. George felt in danger because of Luke's ability to attract attention from bullies.

Luke was great at hiding mental breakdowns. None of his teachers seemed to notice when after lunch he was much more on edge than he had been in the morning. He had a very good reason for his drastic change in mood. He had been pinned up against a wall by one of the meaner looking aggressors because he had been protecting a younger kid.

Only Emma seemed to notice his used-to-be-usual behavior. They shared only one class a day. Science. It was Luke's strongest class, so he was placed a tear ahead. It was however Emma's weakest class and the teachers had thought it best if she repeated material. The class was scheduled for right after lunch. Luke still felt in between relief and Panic. Relief that he had survived the hardest part of the school day without any "trouble". He had to keep forcing himself to remember that his concept of trouble was seriously skewed. Panic because he was worried he would slip up and reveal the darkest time of his life. He had already managed to make… and subsequently lose one friend and he wasn't eager to repeat the experience. It was hurtful. He liked to avoid pain.

As soon as Emma entered the class she knew something was wrong. Luke's smile wasn't reaching his eyes as he joked around with his friends. He looked worried about something. Was it just the difficulty of the class that he was attempting or was it something more? Emma glanced around warily before politely as possible pulling he brother away for his acts of hyperbole.

"What's the matter with you?" Luke asked her, trying to act cool and confident both for her benefit and his "friends".

"Nothing…" she responded " How are you feeling?" she asked him.

" I'm slightly worried about the homework load." he replied, " Do the teachers actually expect us to do this stuff?"

Emma just smiled and turned away nodding slightly. Her smile didn't reach her eyes either. She could see straight through his brave-faced lies. Count the minutes she repeated to herself. Only an hour left… he can make it through his first day…count the minutes…

**A/N: Whoops.. that was more that 1 week. I hate excuses, but I'll make an exception. School. The teachers must hate us to give us so much homework. This homework piling got me a total electronics (non school related) ban for about a week. I also was forced to survive without the internet over break. **


	5. The Beginning (and a half) of the Middle

**_A/N: Wow... Just Wow! Thank you all for your wonderful reviews. I never actually thought that a story that I would write would be so well received. Now I shall bug people to read my older, less good story (if you like twilight). On another note, I feel as though this chapter although longer, was weaker. I am not very good at dialog (hence the almost dialog free first chapters). Please tell me if there are any mistakes._**

**_Disclaimer: I don't own Jessie._**

"No! No! Please don't tell them. Please Emma. I'll do anything, just don't tell Morgan and Christina." Luke Pleaded

" Luke, I can't keep giving you foundation, and I can't keep helping you cover up what goes on at school." Emma said reasonably

"I don't want them to think I'm weak or having trouble adjusting. "

"Don't worry, they won't send you back. You're a part of the family now."

It was one of their late night talks where Luke came running into Emma's room crying and worrying. Emma usually tried to comfort him and talk him back to current times. Today, however, he was anxious about an entire other matter.

Bullying.

Stupid, Hateful.

Painful.

Luke liked to avoid pain. Really all he could do was lessen pain. The older boys at school had picked on him since day one and he had become a prize catch in the lunchtime wars. Luke was thankful lunch wasn't longer, or worse, they could have recess. He was worried that everything he said or did would lead to his return to the system.

It was Luke's Gotcha Day tomorrow, and Morgan and Christina were coming home just for him. He had been surprised when Bertram had told him. They were currently working on a big movie, and he had just assumed that they wouldn't want to leave the set of "insert obviously lame movie title here" to be with him. Despite all of his years as a valued member of the Ross Family, he still wasn't confident about the reliability of his Morgan and Christina's affections.

Currently he was desperately trying to convince Emma that Morgan and Christina (because still after all this time he refused to call them Mom and Dad or any variation of those titles) didn't need to be informed about his school life.

"I've had worse" he defended after Emma's long tirade. She stared at him in shock. That had not been the response she had been expecting.

What?" he said, mistaking her thinly masked horror for disbelief of his capability. "I've had worse than a few middle scholars trying to catch the maladjusted scrawny kid. I know how to dodge. My thing is surviving. I've survived before and that means I can do it again."

Emma continued to stare in shock. To late Luke realized that she had just been surprised by his prior comment. "Sorry...I'm Sorry." He mumbled awkwardly, trying to get the attention away from his earlier statements. "I just...never mind..." He said, knowing that it was pointless to take back what he had said.

"No! Luke, don't be sorry for the past, it isn't your fault that you can be able to claim a prowess at surviving mean spirited attacks."

"So you will tell them?"

"Only if it comes up."

"It will. I just started school, of course they'll ask how I'm doing."

"Should I force you to go on without any hope for change? No. I'm telling."

"Can you please just bend the truth a little…Perhaps say it has only been going on a little bit or that it only happens some days?"

Emma shook her head. " I tell my parents the truth… especially I matters of family."

The next day Luke was up early as usual pacing around his room.

Worrying.

Time consuming and relatively pointless.

It seemed to help.

Why did Emma always have to try and do what was "best" for him. It was all well and good until she actually acted on her "helpful" plans. What he had neglected to tell her was that he was often bullied because of things that she did. Emma was lovely, and all of the boys in the school were constantly pestering her about going out with them. Sometimes if one of the inner circle of bullies got turned down, they would all turn with a vengeance on Luke. He hated those days. He knew that if he every told Emma, she would be heartbroken. She would feel that it was all her fault, that all of his torment was caused by her, a loving, protective big sister. He was just so damn frustrated! BAM. A wall got in the way of his angry fist.

"Ow! Ow! Ow…Crap. Stupid, stupid, stupid." He looked down at his sore hand. He knew that nothing was broken. He knew what a broken hand felt like. His knuckles were a little swollen and would most like bruise. Punching a wall…not smart.

Emma and Zuri raced into his room.

"Luke said a bad word! Luke said a bad word! Wait until I tell Mommy and Daddy." Zuri squealed with excitement

"Luke, are you alright?" Emma asked

"Yeah. I would be better if I hadn't punched a wall."

"I know you're worried about the thing with Mom and Dad…" Emma trailed off glancing significantly at Zuri

"Nope I'm good. "

Later that day they were all in the living room sitting and waiting for Morgan and Christina to arrive. What if they didn't come? What if they were disappointed with his lack of social skills? What if…ding. The Elevator doors slowly began to open.

"Mommy! Daddy!" Zuri cried out as she darted across the room.

"Mom, Dad! I'm so glad you're finally here!" Emma said joyfully while hugging them both.

"You actually came… I don't believe it." Luke choked out.

"Of course we came, we wouldn't miss your second Gotcha day for the word!" Christina Exclaimed.

"Luke was worried that you wouldn't come." Emma discreetly whispered to her Dad

"Come on tell us all about life while we eat." Christina said" Pulling on Luke's arm to lead him into the dinning room where all of his favorite foods we laid out.

"Wow." he gasped. Maybe this would lessen the immediate affect of Emma blurting his closely guarded secrets.

They all sat down and began to talk about trivial things, yet all the while Luke was internally panicking. Emma was definitely going to spill. There was nothing short of throwing off the balcony (which he would never do to his sister0 that would stop her from telling. Unless… A devious plan began to form in his head.

"How is school going Luke?" Morgan asked. All heads turned in his direction to hear his response. Luke rarely spoke about school and this would be a revelation for all of them.

"Fine… It's going fine."

"You know very well that it isn't!" an angry Emma shouted

"So?" he argued lamely

"Luke is being bullied severely every day at school." Emma addressed their parents.

Shock.

Silencing.

Very awkward if the shocking thing is related to you.

"Luke… you could have told us." Christina said

"No I couldn't. You would have sent me back. I'm still not sure you'll keep me."

"You know that you're a full and total part of the family as we have been telling you for years?" Emma questioned maturely

"Yeah…"

"Is there anything else any of you have to admit?" Morgan asked, for once being serious.

"No, that about-" Emma started

"Yes! I do!" Luke practically screamed

"Yes?" Emma said

"Emma has an eating disorder." He blurted the first thing to come to mind

"WHAT?!" Emma screeched

"Emma, is this true?" Christina said turning to her eldest child

"No. Not at all…LUKE!"

Later that night the full Ross family was sitting around the table. Luke had just finished opening his presents.

"We have one last present, its for all of us" Morgan said proudly

"We are going to adopt a child from India, a little baby boy named Ravi."

Oh Crap! They are already replacing me. Luke thought before running up the stairs with tears streaming down his face.

**_A/N: Thank you for reading. Please review. If you have any ideas, they are welcome. How true to the TV shows should I be? I was thinking afew similarities, but obvious differences beacuse of their pasts, or almost exactly the same with different dialog._**


	6. The Middle of the Middle

**A/N: I would like to thank the Guest that reviewed with "I hate it". There is a first time for everything, and my 22****nd**** review was my very first flame. I would like to thank "Guest" for the valuable lesson of everyone has different opinions, and some people dislike my writing (almost as much as I do). What did you hate about it "guest"? Was it the fact that I haven't updated in ages, or simply the fact that my writing style seems jumbled and unclear, and my dialog is unrealistic. The reason why I ask for no flames is simply because I can flame myself as well if not better than everyone else can flame me. If you hated it so much, why did you bother reviewing (especially taking the time to read all chapters and review on the last one)? Thank you for all of the constructive criticism and positive, "go on" s that I have received. **

**I would also like to thank my friend Christine for reading this and telling me to have more confidence in my writing even though she had no clue about anything having to do with Jessie. I like to thank the academy...**

**_Disclaimer:...DUH..._**

Crying.

Always necessary.

Sometimes embarrassing.

Drowning.

Flooding.

Tired. Tired. NOW!

A burst of light. Footsteps.

Through his foggy haze of sadness he felt murmuring and a comforting touch. Sticky tears had begun to dry on his face although they were still pouring down his face. The words were beginning to get clearer.

"Shhhh, Shhhh. Its okay. Don't worry. C'mon, it's all all right. All is good. All is good."

Luke opened his eyes. Christina. They were going to send him away. He had known that he couldn't trust people, especially not those who "cared" for you. That was one of the reasons why he had flat out refused to call them mom and Dad when they had asked several months ago on an extended visit. He started to hyperventilate and the tears unwanted, came once again.

"No, No, No…you are fine. We want another child, that is all." They were outright telling him that they didn't want him? That was new.

"When should my bag be packed by?" he muttered quietly. He could just imagine their half mournful half relieved looks as they dropped him off at social services. He wasn't prepared for the look of shame that crossed Christina's face as he said that.

Why were they concerned about hi? They were leaving him. Everyone always left. It would always be like that. Luke stares blankly at her face. Her watery eye mirrored his. They held a look so raw and broken he would have sworn that he was looking in a mirror.

"Honey, you know how Zuri was adopted before you and we didn't give her away when we got you?" Luke nodded, slightly confused. "The same is happening when we adopt Ravi. He will get a home, and you will be his older brother." Luke started to tremble again. The prospect of a new child in the house was so terrifying.

When compared to the new kid from India, he would be replaced, even if Morgan and Christina swore they wouldn't. When he thought about it, he really didn't deserve any of their affection. They had just picked him up as some type of charity case. The kids at school said so all the time. He may look like Morgan, but he would never truly be their child.

He knew deep down that his despair wasn't logical. It made sense in the heat of the moment however to jump to the conclusion that he would be replaced, as he had been many times before. He knew that his current guardians were different (or at least he had hoped that they were), but he still felt betrayed by their actions. They should have known better than that. They gave him almost no warning. He wouldn't have time enough to brace himself for the harsh realities of foster care again. He would once again be lost to himself.

The bullying problem paled drastically in comparison to the fact that he would have to face old demons and memories from foster care in just a few short weeks. Luke knew that he had shed his protective layer almost entirely. A warning would have been useful. He could have started to weave sturdy lies and barriers designed o protect and encase him in their world of safety. Instead he would be forced out of luxury in to the tight confines of the real world in only his breakable skin and bones. What a nightmare!

The weeks passed swiftly. Soon just days were left in his wonderful I-have-parents world. Emma had tried many times to comfort and talk to him but he had just pushed her away. She would only be more upset by his leaving if he maintained a good relationship with her. Ever since the fateful birthday dinner the situation at school had gotten better. Now the attacks were only verbal, for which Luke was grateful for. Sneaking through the house in the middle of the night to steal makeup was becoming tedious. He had only had a few panic attacks since he had found out about Ravi. Luke had resigned himself to the fact that in a matter of days he would be gone, and the Ross Family wouldn't have to bother with him again. Ever. It saddened him. He had actually let himself grow close to his…dare he say it? Family! in the past year and a half. He had naively and foolishly believed that for him, a good thing lasting and family was possible. Luckily that dream had been ripped away from him before he got too comfortable with the idea.

Luke…Ross…no Colbert. He was back to his other identity. It was time to say goodbye. He had been distancing himself from the family. He was almost ready to move on. He liked to think that he wouldn't miss his…home? Yes. Home. He could understand why a family wouldn't want such a screwed p kid. The therapists tried to convince him that he had done nothing wrong. He knew that living was enough to drive his parents insane with hate. Yes, he had been through hell, but it hadn't been undeserved. Luke knew that the Ross family was young, successful and steadily growing. He was just a roadblock in their advancement.

A calm voice drew him out of his thoughts. "Luke? Why have you packed up your things?" Christina said gently

"I'm ready to go now. Where will you be leaving me?" Luke replied emotionlessly

Christina had never though that his fear of abandonment and replacement would carry on this long or go this far.

"Sweetie…what do you mean?" She tried to coax a response and explanation out of him although she already suspected and knew the answer.

"Luke stared at her in confusion for a few moments. How could the one who was sending him away not be aware of the situation? He struggled to reply without betraying his sadness and hurt at leaving. "Remember? You decided to send me away and get a new child. One without problems. One without scars."

Christina had never looked more like Emma in the instant when she stared at him in shocked horror. Everything now made so much more sense. The distancing especially. He had thought that he was leaving. As in for good. As in replaced. She felt the crushing feeling of failure. How could Luke not realize that he was family? She expressed this much adamantly to him.

Luke stood crying slightly as Christina went on about how he was family and how he was forever her and Morgan's son. After a kind gesture like that on to of letting him stay, he decided there was only one thing to do…

"I love you too Mom…"

**A/N: As you can tell my updating schedule isn't a schedule. It's very... not scheduley. Sorry. Can't promise it will be fixed. Please review with your opinions and think before you comment. Any ideas for other stories or chapters?**


	7. The Middle (and a half) of the Middle

** A/N: I apologize in advance for the short length of the chapter, but I realized that if I kept writing, Luke would probably have hurled himself off the side of a building. I have no clue as to why it got dark in this chapter. One moment I was writing happy stuff about Luke calling his parents mom and dad, and then the next he is depressed. Please review. No flames please, see the chapter 5 author note for clarification. This is really short.**

**Warning: Mentions of disturbing content. I am not sure what my brain was doing. **

**Disclaimer:I don't own Jessie. If I did I would probably kill off half the characters by accident. **

Luck had never been on Luke's side. Now it seemed that his siblings and life in general had turned on him. Not only was there this creepy obsessive (sympathetic, understanding) girl following him wherever he went, but there was also a new nanny. Emma had begged, Zuri had pleaded, and Ravi and Mr. Kipling had asked, and asked. The only go thing was that she was cute.

At least no one knew his history…except for Mom, Dad, and Emma. His parents (he no longer hesitated when calling them that for he now counted himself a part of the family) had been thrilled when he had finally, a year and a half after adoption accepted them. Emma had cried, Zuri (and Millie the mermaid) had sung and squealed, and Ravi (for he wasn't actually a baby) had stood off to the side as the family had celebrated. Now Ravi was part of the family. Luke didn't actually mind it as much as he thought he would. They got along, and it was nice to have a slightly younger sibling to tease, prank and talk to.

Jessie… was different. Luke didn't know how to act around her. She was a family member…but not. She was a teacher…but not. He knew that the last few time that an unrelated person (or really related) had been in the house it had ended badly.

That night he fell asleep to thoughts of his biological parents. Those "dreams" quickly digressed into nightmares. He knew that his dreams were memories, so it surprised him when they transformed from the usual "shouting match between parents ends with the kid getting beat" dreams (which were the second most common only to the "son, what a failure and disappointment " and " Luke Colbert getting the shit beat out of him" dreams, to a much more creepy dream. The shock woke him up. Immediately he was on his phone googling everything having to do with repressed memories and…molestation/rape victims. By the time he was done reseaching he had a shaky comprehension of both, but was completely convinced that he had repressed memories of some very creepy traumatic events.

The next morning he was more sullen than usual. He had no one to talk to about his dreams. Emma and his parents were away for the weekend. Jessie had luckily just decided that it was lack of sleep that was repressing his usually outgoing, flirty nature. He felt as though his life was all a lie.

He could remember.

He remembered.

Remembered.

Remember…

He could remember his first day of school. The pain after not finishing chores. After dropping dishes. When his parents rented him out. The joy when they said he was too old now. The pain, pain, pain of daily life. The big kids at school who would pick on him relentlessly.

And Luke was afraid.

Luke felt fear, fear, fear.

All consuming fear.

Jessie was nice. She was funny. She was completely oblivious to Luke's past, and it was going to stay that way. Although he had been entirely against her involvement in his life, he was now enjoying having her as a… much older sister? That would work.

There had been several times when he had been close to accidentally revealing his secrets. Emma had always been there to calm him down discreetly and set up a Skype call to their parents and work out all problems. Now she was away and he needed someone to talk to.

He felt alone.

Alone, alone, alone.

All alone.

When his parents and Emma returned he was still alone. He and Emma had talked for several hours, but the topic of his newfound memories never came up.

He was scared.

Of abandonment.

Of betrayal.

Of reactions.

Of emotions.

Of everything.

And Emma never saw. He was sad, so sad. They weren't as close as they had been just months ago. Emma was now in EIGHTH GRADE and her social life was so much more important than taking care of or even talking to her dorky little brother. Everyone was against him the world was against him.

That was the first time he cut.

It had only been a scratch. It hadn't even been painful. He hadn't realized that he had broken his skin (even though that had been his intention) until he reached down to his forearm and peeled apart his skin. Little crimson drops had beaded in thin lines along his arm. It felt good, a rush.

And they bled.

Bled.

Bled.

Long and slow.

It may have been his first time cutting, but it certainly wouldn't be his last.

** A/N: Sorry for it getting rather dark. Please review with your comments. I think I might do a story about Connie. What do you guys think? It's really short. Sorry for that.**


	8. The End of the Middle

**A/N: I had a lot of trouble with this chapter. It didn't turn out quite how I wanted. I spent almost a month trying to fix the end, but it was just to sweet to change. On my Bio I have story ideas that you guys can vote on. My only knowledge of abuse is fanfiction ( and a few lifetime movies). My only connection to self harm is spending hours texting my suicidal friend for hours at a time and coming up with reasons for her not to kill her self. **

**Disclaimer: See the other chapters.**

He had had to lie before. Many times before in fact. He wasn't sure why he suddenly noticed it or felt anything one way or another about it now. It was necessary more often now with the cuts. He had taken up wearing bracelets and long sleeves when he felt that it wouldn't be noticed. He kept his coat on at school claiming that he "was cold", or recovering from being sick". Everyone believed him.

There was only one time that his parents knew that he lied. They had even backed him up on the massive life-defining lie. It was a simple "I'm from krypton". Jessie was suspicious, but she didn't look further into it. It was a nice story; one that Luke wished was true.

Luke's life was a lie. All of it.

"No Jessie nothing is wrong"

"Yes mom I have lots of friends"

No Dad, Emma and I get along great"

**"I'm Fine"**

Luke's life was crumbling away. Luke's life was tearing and stretching apart. Luke was in a downward spiral.

No control.

No control.

No control.

And so he cut. More and more.

Everyday a new cut. Everyday two more. Everyday three more. Every day four more.

He knew that he should stop. He knew that it was wrong. It was control though. He needed Control

Control

Control

Control.

It was everything. He knew he should really stop. He knew that if he kept going someone would stop him, and that would make it infinitely more painful to stop.

And then came the day when someone knew. He knew that she knew. He was afraid. More Afraid.

Afraid.

Afraid.

Afraid.

She scared him so much. She was smart to disguise herself as crazy. He could recognize that. And he played along. He spread the word that she was "Creepy Connie", a girl with stalker like tendencies and an awesome sense of "I'll kill your Koala". He knew that it was slightly cruel, and the only reason he was doing it was to protect himself o that if she spilled his secrets they would be discounted as lies. He knew this, but it made him feel Powerful for once, Power.

Power.

Power.

Power.

Luke knew that he could be just as harsh as those who bullied him. He relished that though of sheer **_Power._**

He talked to her once or twice. It helped, though he would never admit it. He talked and it made him feel. For once he understood. He was being selfish, so selfish.

Selfish.

Selfish.

Selfish.

Selfish.

And so he cut.

And Bled.

And felt.

And dreamed.

This was what his life had come to. He was scared once again. Connie said that he needed to get clean for both of them, because she knew that she would never be able to. He knew that that was a partial lie, and that with enough time she could do it. She never had granted herself time, and time was the key ingredient.

They now spent a lot of time together in school. He didn't really have any other friends, and they were lumped together into the "losers" group. He was thankful that they hadn't made the connection between his friendship with "Creepy Connie" the now slightly more emo than deranged girl he used to hate, and self harm. There were suspicions of course. They bullies always shoved them around in the halls as they talked about "Loser topics" like sci-fi and books and frequently told them both to kill themselves. There was no teacher intervention, and they both swore that if they survived to adulthood, they would both become teachers or social workers to prevent the pain that they had felt their entire life. . They always avoided talking about their pasts.

One day however they decide that they would record their life stories in as much detail as they could to try to give them a reason to keep living. It was half Connie's idea and half Luke's. Connie want something permanent to be cherished and held. Something that could be turned over to the police in times of trouble, something that could be added to and give a reason to continue. Luke just needed to tell everything, from the years of beatings, to his mother's suicide and his forced prostitution. They both need to let everything out.

It was at the end of one of their chapters when everything changed. One minute they were just best friends, then the next they were something slightly more maybe. Luke wasn't very sure. Connie had just leaned toward him and kissed him. It wasn't like he hadn't been kissed before; it just usually wasn't something that he truly wanted. He was surprised and shocked. What did this change? How did this happen? Why wasn't he more scared? Connie apologized immediately, but Luke just waved her off. It was perfect. He wasn't as sad.

For the first time in months he didn't cut.

**A/N: I'll try to update sooner than I did this time hopefully. Connie's Life will be updated soonish. Review please!**


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